Part of the reason

I spent a lot of time reflecting on the summer during the last two weeks of my stay in Oklahoma.  I came to realize that there would still be unanswered questions by the time I left, and I grew to accept that.  One morning, I was thinking about my mission and the experiences that changed me.  I remembered a talk that I had read called “The Fourth Missionary”, by Lawrence E. Corbridge (a leader in the LDS church).  The talk can be found here.  I owe a lot to these words, because they were instrumental in helping me become happy and content in missionary work, as opposed to just doing it because I was “supposed to”.  These were my thoughts as I read the talk a second time:

“This summer has been a kind of conversion experience, much like the mission.  I think the Lord wants me to keep doing hard things throughout my life.  And honestly, I wonder if the difficulty is why He sent me here.  Maybe if I had gone with another company, the sales would come easily, I would have success, and I wouldn’t have struggled or wished I could be somewhere else.  And even if the other company wouldn’t have put me in spiritual danger because of worldly success, I might not have grown because it might not have been hard.  Maybe I needed to go somewhere that would suck and where lots of hard things could happen so that I would feel dependent on the Lord.  I always thought of my purpose here in Oklahoma as me being here because I was supposed to do something important (and maybe it is), but I’m starting to think it’s because the Lord could try me and teach me here like He couldn’t anywhere else.  And that makes sense to me.”

I don’t think that was the only reason I was in Oklahoma.  But I do think that the Lord knew I would have a hard time leaving without any answer, so He gave me the part of the answer that I needed at the time.  I don’t expect to learn any more about this unless and until I am in a time of need.  He will give me piece by piece along the way.  My experience with revelation is that the Lord rarely administers more than what is needed at any given time.  If He does too frequently, opportunities for our spiritual growth are lost, and the reason we are here on this earth is defeated.  The Lord always answers to “need”, seldom to “want”.  Knowing this principle, sometimes I can look back on experiences I had with revelation, and determine, Yes, this was something I needed.  Sometimes I’m still not sure.

But far more importantly, this principle of revelation assists me with the present and the future.  Often I find myself praying very hard for something, but then I am reminded to pause.  I think to myself, How much of this is “want”, and how much is “need”?   I can then scale back my request, and I feel much more confident that the Lord will answer my prayer.  And I know that I will reap more blessings, because I will experience self-growth, which is greater than any other blessing we can have on earth.

1 Corinthians 10:13

When September started, I knew that the only reason I was in Oklahoma instead of Utah was because I felt that I needed to stay.  I felt a heightened need to remind myself that I was on the Lord's time, since it was because of Him that I was still there.  I took steps to make sure that I was using my time for the Lord instead of doing what I wanted to do.  Among other things, this included spending an hour each day studying sales books, tapes, or videos (since I knew that the Lord wanted me to learn selling principles).  I also wanted to do my best to treat people in a loving way (as Og Mandino said in "The Greatest Salesman in the World") and take every opportunity I could to share the gospel.

Sales-wise, the first two weeks of September went pretty well.  It was still hot, there were still bugs, and people were still buying.  Occasionally I would hear about something going on back home and get distracted, but I found that as long as it still felt like summer, I wouldn't feel like I should be home.  Around this time, we were short on technicians (the guys who do the actual bug spraying).  The owner had us trained so that we could do technician work when needed and sell the rest of the time.  While being trained, I had this experience:


"On Wednesday this past week, I was out teching.  It was a cool day outside, and since I was teching, I was wearing long pants.  I guess the cool day and the fact that I was wearing long pants struck tones in my subconscious, because I got pretty homesick that day.  Cool weather often seems to make me nostalgic for some reason.  It felt like fall, and fall and winter make me think of home.  Also, I was taking a break from selling, and it felt really good not having to worry about selling.  And I knew I had to keep selling until the end of the month, and I didn't want to do that.  So, to be brief, I wanted out of this whole thing, and that is basically the definition of regret.

"The worst thing was, the feeling of regret that came didn't just apply to my summer sales experience.  For a moment or two, I even let myself think that if I hadn't gone on a mission, I could have graduated from college and been on the way to success right now.  For a moment, I let myself believe that what the world could give me was better than what God could give me, and that I could make a better life for myself than He could.  It was only for a moment, but it scared me that I let it in.

"It lessened by that night, but I was still afraid that if something really good doesn't come out of this experience before I leave, I might not have the faith to choose His will over mine for a long time, if ever.  One feeling I've had on and off while I've been here is that every day that goes by when I don't get the answers I'm looking for, I lose a little bit of faith.  On Wednesday night I read a talk by [LDS church leader] Henry B. Eyring that is directed to people who feel that way, specifically for people who wonder if they're going to have enough faith to endure to the end.  I can't point out the exact words from that talk that gave me comfort, but it was exactly what I needed.  It felt extremely comforting to know that there was somebody who understood how I felt and wanted to help me.  That alone may have been enough.  I was given what I needed when I needed it.  That gave me motivation to keep going."


My biggest fear was that I would be all out of faith by the time I left Oklahoma.  Being redeemed from that fear was a unique spiritual experience.  It felt like a safety net, like the danger might be right next to me but God was keeping me from it, or it from me.  He was keeping me from failure and fear.

Knowing what some of my friends and family have been through, it sometimes seems pathetic to me that this trial affected me as much as it did.  I don't know whether or not I had as much as I could bear that night.  What I do know is that, because of that experience, I know without a doubt that God truly will not let me be tempted more than I can bear.  For me, it was an inner spiritual protection from danger.  For others, it may be a change of outward circumstances.  But I know that what Paul said is true:

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:  but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."  -1 Corinthians 10:13

Moral selling

Requirement 2:  I must find something that I feel justified selling.

As I said before, this is something I learned from Tom Hopkins, who urged prospective salesmen and women to select an avenue of selling based on integrity, not on profit.  Specifically, he said, "Find something to sell that you believe in so much that if the prospect says 'no', they've lost more than you!"  I haven't put much thought into exactly what that would be for me, but I know I want to follow that counsel.  Here's why:

• Sales is, in many ways, counter to my nature.  It involves necessary elements of pressure and impulse that I am far from accustomed to imposing on other people.  All but the most skilled salesmen must rely on at least a small amount of pushing, of urgency, of "now", to get the prospect to buy.  This habit is something I can practice temporarily and live with, but it's too uncomfortable to get used to, at least for the wrong reasons.  If I decided to sell for profit alone, I am certain that it would only be a matter of time before I couldn't take it anymore and backed out.  The only way I could make this permanent is if I found a product or service that would enable me to prioritize the customer's benefit above my benefit to motivate myself.
• I need to find a product or service that I would use myself if I was the customer.  With sales jobs I've had in the past, I knew I wasn't ripping the prospect off with what I was offering.  But if they were to turn around and ask me if I would make the same decision in their place, I couldn't honestly say yes on every occasion (although, strangely enough, no prospect has ever asked me that).  Choosing a product that I believe in would not only give me integrity and justification in selling, but it would remove a large part of the discomfort of persuasion.  I would be able to push because I would be, as Tom Hopkins said, "blending [my] sincere desire to serve in helping a person make a decision that's truly good for them".

Requirement 3:  I must find something to sell that I can get excited about.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am not an emotionally excitable person.  I don't know if I ever will be, and I'm okay with that.  But sales get so much easier if you have excitement and enthusiasm about your product or service.  And I can't fake that.  I can get along without it, because there's plenty of things that other people are happy buying, even if I as the salesman couldn't care less.  But the sales process becomes truly powerful when the salesman and the prospect can bounce their enthusiasm off of each other; building the excitement until a buying decision is made.  It can't be one-sided.

I'm going to go ahead and admit that it will be difficult to find a sales job that fulfills even one of these requirements to my satisfaction (assuming I go into sales, that is).  It may be nigh impossible to find one that fulfills all three, especially if I'm just starting out.  But I feel that these components are necessary for me to be truly successful in this field.  I can't do this alone, I need to have integrity, and I want to love what I do.  And if sales is what the Lord truly wants me to do, He'll help me find something that meets my needs.

Mentor

(You might want to read the last part of the previous post before this, since this post is sort of a continuation of the last one.)

I've never felt the drive to learn the art of selling as strongly as I did that night.  It hasn't returned in the same intensity since then.  Now that I'm home and doing different things, the desire is very weak.  I started this blog shortly after this experience, which is why the first couple of posts make it sound like I'm ready to walk into the nearest office building and apply for a sales job.  At this point, I'm not really sure what to make of that experience.  I know that the Lord used it, among other experiences, to teach me that sales is supposed to take a more permanent place in my life than I thought.  But I'm not going to go into sales as a career unless more things happen in my life that point me in that direction.

Beyond that, I have put a lot of thought into what I would want a sales job to be like, should I ever venture back into the world of sales.  These conditions are only preferences for temporary jobs like summer sales (which I am likely to do again), but absolute requirements if I decide on sales permanently.

Requirement 1:  I do not want to commit to the life of a salesman unless I can find a great mentor.

I came to this decision after reading the Sales Bible.  Jeffrey Gitomer writes multiple times about how crucial it is for a company to have solid sales training.  If a company has a problem selling, he says, then it's most likely due to lack of good training rather than the salesmen themselves.  And he cites stories of several well-known salesman that almost failed, but came under the instruction of a great mentor and learned to succeed.

If I decided to be a salesman, Tom Hopkins is the kind of mentor I would want.  I refer to Tom Hopkins as the "General Authority" of sales, mainly because his phraseology and his precise choice of words remind me of the speaking style of many Mormon church leaders at general conference (a semiannual meeting of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the latest of which can be found here).  Tom defines the art of selling in understandable but complete terms.  Here's a sample of Tom at work:

Tom defines closing as "professionally using a person's desire to obtain the benefits of your product.  Then, blending your sincere desire to serve in helping a person make a decision that's truly good for them."  He also describes closing as "a symphony of words and actions that emotionally build, culminating in a final win/win agreement."  I wish I could include the video of Tom teaching about closing, but it seems to have disappeared from Youtube.

Another reason I like Tom is that he sets an example of morality and integrity in the world of selling.  He encourages people to choose something to sell that they can truly believe in, something that will mean at least as much to the customer as it does to them; as opposed to choosing something to sell based on profit alone.  This, to me, is an extremely important aspect of sales that I'll share my feelings about in an upcoming post.  For now, I will say that selling is the profession that holds perhaps the strongest temptation to sacrifice your integrity for profit.  I feel that deciding on a product or service that I can feel justified selling will be one of the greatest protections against that temptation.

And then everything exploded

After learning more about my purpose, I dedicated myself to learning to love the experience of selling.  And it worked way, way faster than I ever would have expected.  Here's what I wrote on September 1st, 2013:  "For the past month, I've had this book called The Sales Bible.

"It's pretty good, a lot of it applies far more to corporate sales than door-to-door sales, but it's got lots of good advice.  I got it mainly because I feel like if I'm not trying to be a better salesman every day, I get worse.  And through experience I have found this to be true.  (And, I figured, if this book gets me one sale that I otherwise wouldn't have, it will have paid for itself several dozen times over.)

"But I also got it because I think I've pretty much learned everything the team leader has to teach me, and I need new sources to keep learning.  One of the main things The Sales Bible teaches is that knowledge and training are absolutely vital to success as a salesman.  And the more I realized how important knowledge and training are, the more I started wanting to get my hands on as much knowledge as I can on how to become a better salesman.  And for a little while, I felt the same kind of drive that I feel learning about other things I love to learn about, like science.  It felt the same as that.  And a few nights ago, I realized that I really love learning the art of selling.  And without really even realizing it, I started thinking and planning to myself, What if this is going to be a career for me?  What if I'm not just supposed to spend my life learning selling principles as a supplement to what I actually do?  What if I'm actually supposed to immerse myself in this for most of my adult life?

"And then everything exploded and I realized that a whole new world of possibilities had just opened up to me.  Literally millions.  I mean, I've always casually believed that I could succeed in the business world, if I ever decided to care about it, but I realized that with the right mentor, in the right place, not only could I be very successful, but I could really love what I'm doing while I'm doing it.

"And then I got kind of frustrated because I've had a hard enough time deciding what I wanted to do in the great, grand world of science, and now this.  But it's given me something to think about.  And I haven't felt that drive in the same intensity since a few nights ago.  But the general desire has stayed and I still want to keep learning about it.  So I will."

Priesthood power and paradigm shifts

Shortly after my decision to stay in Oklahoma, I had several times when I doubted the fact that I was really supposed to be there.  I felt like I had tried everything to find answers, but nothing worked.  As I was studying for a Sunday school lesson about the priesthood, I realized that I had never asked a priesthood leader for help.  That Sunday, I talked with my branch president about it.  He didn't provide any earth-shaking, all-revealing advice, but I wasn't expecting that.  He shared some of his own experiences and gave me some suggestions.  It helped me to know that I wasn't the only one who didn't know what my path would be in the future.  Neither of us felt like I should put my previous plans on hold for too long, and delaying my education for more than a semester didn't seem like a good idea.  I decided after our conversation that I would stay in Oklahoma until the sales quit coming; and if nothing happened by then to make it look like I should stay, then I would leave.

About a week later, I had an experience that opened my eyes to some of my purpose.  A friend of mine shared a funny video of a smooth door-to-door salesman on Facebook.

I enjoyed Kenny Brooks' witty remarks, embedded pop culture references, and lightning-fast comebacks to the prospect's objections, but the video made me think a lot about my own experience as a door-to-door salesman.  I later wrote:  "It made me wonder why I can't sell like that.  And I know I shouldn't act exactly like him, because few sales techniques work equally well for everyone.

"But I realized that part of the reason I don't excel in sales is because I don't love what I'm doing.  This has always been a means to an end for me.  I've thought many times how ready I am to throw this away when I don't need it anymore, even though I'm grateful for how this job has changed me.  But then I thought about my mission.  I'm eternally grateful for how that changed me; but at the same time, I loved being a missionary while I was doing it.  The Lord told me that sales can be that way too, and it should be.  And He told me that I shouldn't think of this as something short-lived, like a flame that burns brightly for a moment and then goes out.  The Lord is using this as an experience to shape me into who He wants me to be.

"In many ways, this builds on what I learned as a missionary, and it includes new elements and ideas that I've never thought of before.  Basically, learning selling principles is helping me to become a strong, confident man of God in ways that few other things can.  And if there comes a time that I throw that away because I think I don't need it, then the Lord can't use that to shape who I am anymore."

Up to that point in the summer, I believed that sales brought me to Oklahoma, but there was an entirely different purpose waiting there for me.  In other words, sales was only the means to an end.  But that night I realized that sales was a big part of the reason the Lord wanted me there, so that He could change and refine me into who He wants me to be.

"Stay."

(Note for non-Mormons:  LDS temples are places where members of the church go for many reasons.  One of those reasons is that we believe the temple is a place where we can feel closer to God.  It is His house, it is a quiet place separated from the world, and its beauty and cleanliness calms me.  I, along with many other Latter-Day Saints, attend the temple to find answers or help with questions or struggles in my life.  I know that the temple is a place that I can more easily hear God's voice and feel His presence.  If you want to know more about temples, go here.)

July 12th, 2013.  I had been 22 for a few hours.  By this time in the summer, because of the heat and our tiredness, we had agreed to make our daily schedule a little more lenient.  We no longer went in for meetings in the morning; instead we met around noon every day before we went out knocking.  I and another salesman were planning on attending the temple at 1:00 that day.  We left the noon meeting, rushed to the Oklahoma City temple, and barely made it on time for the 1:00 session.

Because of the hurry, I wasn't in the best mood and I wasn't able to concentrate as well as I usually can.  Which was a problem, seeing as this was my first chance in months to go to the temple and I was hoping to have a great experience there.  After the session was over, I didn't feel like I had been ready to receive any answers.  I didn't know when I would be able to go to the temple again, so I decided to go to the 6:00 session after I'd had some time to prepare.

There was a noticeable difference in the evening.  I wasn't stressed anymore and I could focus better.  I knew I was ready.  After the session, I sat in the celestial room in silent prayer, asking God why He had sent me to Oklahoma.  I wrote about what happened later in my journal:  "...all I got was one word:  'Stay', and the feeling that it would be longer than I had planned here in Oklahoma.  I wasn't ready for that.  I spent about 10 minutes just sitting there thinking, Really?  That's it?  That's what You have for me?'  And then I thought about what that meant.  If I was to stay longer, I would have to give up at least a semester of school and all the academic preparation and social experiences that came with it.  I would continue to live in Oklahoma, not knowing why I was there, and miss out on a bunch of things back home.

"To make a long story short, I doubted it.  I wasn't ready to give that up.  The only thing I did immediately was to ask the branch president (lay leader in the LDS church) for a calling (opportunity to serve in an LDS congregation).  I wanted one anyway and I figured I could quit it easily if I decided to go back to Utah when I had planned.  I didn't want to touch my classes, my job, or my apartment contract until I got further confirmation that I was really supposed to stay.

"For the next few days I was casually thinking about it while selling.  I had a couple of bad selling days even though I felt like I was in a good area.  I wondered why things weren't going so well and then I thought about the answer the Lord gave to me.  I thought of the scripture in Ether (12:6) that says you receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.  A friend of mine had posted on Facebook the question, 'What am I willing to give up for God?'  Somewhat reluctantly, I decided that night to drop all my classes and notify the BYU math lab that I wouldn't be returning fall semester, as well as start to sell my apartment contract.  I'm trusting God and hoping this will turn out all right.  I hope a lot of things, but for now, I will search, work, and wait patiently until what's supposed to happen, happens.  Until I know what I'm supposed to do and why I'm here."